Painted Flowers
by haileyy
Summary: Bella Swan isn't prepared to get a text message from her ex boyfriend. The same ex who left her high and dry a year ago and a half ago, and hasn't spoken to her since. The same ex whose coming back home after a year; the same ex who wants her back.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, quotes and songs aren't mine either. Only the plot belongs to me :)**

"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend,

but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success."

- Oscar Wilde.

I never thought I would be in a position like I was at this moment, staring at the screen watching the boy I had once loved, living his dream before my eyes. Watching him brought tears to my eyes, and I swallowed hard to keep them at bay; I couldn't risk crying in front of all of the people I was with. Looking back at the screen into those same green eyes I once knew, the same passion in them that used to bring me to my knees in high school. I see the same strong jawline that I used to pepper kisses along, and those same lips that curved into my favorite smile. I couldn't even tell you what was being said in the conversations around me, or even what song he was singing on stage...everything else washed away as it always had when I stared at him.

Being friends since we were ten, our parents always teased us about being together. I used to tell him everything, even when I got my damn period; he was the first to know. Every first was with him, and after that first kiss it just seemed right to jump into our first relationship, together. I remember the first song he ever wrote me, and the way his voice cracked when he told me he loved me right after playing it. Now, I realize that I did take all of that and more for granted. He said if it were up to him, he would have stayed with me for eternity; that he would never let me go. Since it wasn't up to him though, I was thrown aside to make way for the young it girls of Hollywood, the newest faces of Vogue, because I was too 'plain' for him now. I hadn't seen him for over a year and a half, and even though I see his face on every magazine at the super market, I'd been able to put him behind me.

All of the effort I've put forth it fucking useless now, and I feel every feeling and memory coming back slowly. I vaguely hear Rosalie calling my name, and the guy -some random frat guy- nuzzling my neck, but I can't even comprehend them. Because now, I see him on the screen and see him singing just like he was born to do, and I can't help the watery smile that graces my face. The damn is broken and I remember things like it was yesterday. All of the smiles, the tears, the laughs and frowns, and words that were spoken come back to me. I give Rosalie a poke, and tell her I'm leaving for the night, and wave goodbye to the frat guy. The wind whips me in the face as the doors to the bar open, and I can't help but welcome it, I need it to clear my head. I try to think of the more happier times, watching him on stage at the little whole in the wall, and hearing him dedicating songs to me, "_this is for you, Sunshine_." Only those close to us would know who he was talking about, and that privacy was a great luxury then, that we took advantage of. As started walking to my car I started thinking about the song he was singing on stage at Jimmy Kimmel Live, I remember when he had wrote it for me on my eighteenth birthday. Of course, ironically, it became one of his biggest hits.

_"Do not waste this evening, baby I'm begging you,_

_your big imagination's playing its tricks on you,_

_if you think my up and leaving's something I'm gonna do,_

_feel my chest when I look at you..."_

The song still gave me fucking tingles up my spine, and it was just ten-fold when he was singing it to me face-to-face. Finally making it to my car, I got in and cranked up the heat, and started the short drive back to my condo. I was lucky enough to have parents who put enough money away for me to buy a condo, very close to the UW - Medicine campus where I went to school. I thanked the Lord that I didn't have to deal with annoying roommates, especially tonight.

I finally decided to suck it up and stop thinking about him...Edward Cullen had broken my heart over a year ago, and it was about time I got over it. Maybe tomorrow I would even call frat boy. It was about time for me to stop moping over him, even though he is _everywhere_ I go, and now was as good a time as any.

Clean slates were definitely not one of my fortes', but I figured after a good sleep and a nice shower I would feel better. I walked into my apartment to be greeted by the _not so new_ love of my life, Brody...my bulldog. "Brod, baby. I missed you!" I crouched down and got slobbered on, everywhere. It was his way of showing just how much she missed me.

I started stripping off my clothes and walking to my bathroom, a shower was absolutely what I needed right now.

--

I felt completely refreshed after my shower, and completely tired. I felt like I had been hit my a freight train, from the weight of everything I had been thinking of tonight. Calling Brody into my room for bed, I heard him pounding across the floor...he was a tub of lard, but I loved him to death. We climbed on to the bed and I got into the covers, ready to fall into a deep sleep. Right when I was about to fall asleep, I was woken up by my cell phone vibrating on my bed side table. I figured it was just Rosalie asking if I got home okay, and I was just going to let it go, but I got curious so I just checked it. My eyes widened as I saw who the message was from and what it said.

_"Bella, I'm coming home."_

I guess sleep and forgetting about Edward Cullen wasn't an option tonight.

**Song belongs to John Mayer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, quotes and songs aren't mine either. Only the plot belongs to me.**

"The soul of conversation is sympathy."

- Thomas Campbell

I may have stared at my phone for an hour or even just twenty minutes. I literally frozen in my bed, holding my phone. Finally Brody started severely licking me all over my face, and I was jostled back into reality. I remembered what had just happened. Edward had texted me; texted that he was coming home to Washington after over a year away. .Fuck. I didn't know whether to be ecstatic, or pissed as hell...I didn't even know if I could fully process what had just happened to me. All I knew was, I needed my sister.

It felt like forever before Rose finally picked up the phone.

"Bella?" She answered groggily.

"Will you come over, please?"

"Oh my God, what's the matter? Are you home, what happened to you? Is everyth-."

"Rose! Stop, shut up, and just come over. I'll explain when you get here, I just need you, Sis." I said quietly, using the same name I'd called her as child.

"Okay, Bell. Be there in ten." She hung up the phone before I had time to say anymore. I looked back at the text message that was sent over an hour ago, my eyes starting to glisten. Maybe, I was just being over dramatic and maybe I was totally over analyzing what the message said. So he was coming home, big freakin' whoop. I could handle it, just like I handled it when he left.

Even though he left me with hardly a goodbye, and we hadn't spoken since that sucky evening when we left each other. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, suddenly feeling really sick. Brody looked up at me with his droopy eyes, licking me all the way up my face.

"I don't know Brod, you think I should be happy? Or that I'm being a big baby?" I asked my dog softly, and was answered with a long sigh. I stuck my tongue out at him, as I petted his head. "God, I wish you could talk Brody." My stomach was really starting to hurt, and I knew that I was going to end up throwing up. I ran to the bathroom just in time, and heard the front door open and shut, Rose called out to me worriedly.

"Bella! Where the hell are you?"

"In the bathroom."

"Holy Shit." She squatted down on floor where I was laying. Feeling my forehead to see if it was warm, she went into the bathroom closet to wet a facecloth to put on my flushed face.

"What happened? Honey, come here. Sit up for me okay? You look pale, well more pale than usual."

"Psh, thanks Rose. I'm fine, just got sick for a second there, but I feel a little better now." I said as I walked to the living room. I honestly had no idea how to approach this, telling Rosalie that Edward called me was going to start a nuclear war in my kitchen. So, I decided to do what any person would do; I got some Ben & Jerry's from the freezer and stuffed a huge bite in my mouth, and let her have it.

"Ewar tex meh." I really hoped she couldn't understand me. Of course, being the lucky person that I am, she completely knew what I said, ice cream or not my sister knew me too damn well.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What, when, why?" She exclaimed.

I still didn't know what to say, so I walked into my room quietly and got my phone. I shoved it in her face, letting her see the text message and her eyes widened.

She looked at it for a good five minutes before saying anything. Having the same reaction as I did, I just figured that it rendered her speechless.

"I can't believe-what is he? Oh man, why would he open that wound again? Obviously, he still doesn't care about anyone elses feeling but his own. Obviously, he's still putting his career before you, again. How could he do this? If Dad were here, he'd personally pick him up from the airport and rip his balls off in front of everyone. I will personally rip his balls off if he comes anywhere near you! After a year and a half, I could kill him!" She was breathing really hard after her rant, but I knew she would end up saying everything I wish I could.

Unfortunately, Bella Swan cannot handle random text messages from ex boyfriends, who just happened to be rockstars. And whom have their heads up their asses, and can throw away a fifteen year friendship like yesterdays news.

Whatever, I was over it. Kind of...basically. Okay, looking at Rose even she could tell I was definitely not over it. Fuck my life.

"Bella, what in the world are you going to do about this?" She looked at me at me expectantly.

"Um, well. I guess- I have no idea," I answered blowing a piece of hair out of my face, "Maybe, just ignore it and pretend he has the wrong number?"

"You can't just ignore it, because you know he'll end up coming here. Edward had connections all over the place now, Bell. He will probably find you somehow, no matter what you do to hide from this."

"You're right. I mean, should I text him back? What does he even expect me do say?" I was basically talking to myself here, but it helped that she was here to listen.

"Hmm...well I guess we have all night to think about it. At least we have more ice cream, and some incredibly funny DVD's to watch for the rest of the night." Rose smiled and gestured toward the clock on the microwave. 4:30 in the morning; awesome I've officially been thinking about this fiasco for way too long. Sitting down on the couch with Rosalie, I watched her hold up _The Hangover _and _Pineapple Express_ and I pointed at _The Hangover_; I was completely ready to get absorbed in someone elses story of their weird fucked up night.

--

I woke up to the sun shining directly on my face and the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen; smell of the Gods...seriously.

"Mornin' Bella Bean!" Rose exclaimed with a cup of hot coffee under nose.

"Why must you be so incredibly happy at," I took a peek at the clock, "11am?" I asked sleepily. Coffee or not, the girl was like a perky machine.

"Come on, drink this. You and I both know you'll feel much better after you do."

I had to admit, this definitely was going to help my mood. I drank a big gulp of the hazelnut goodness and let the steam enter my nose. Still, even with the sun and the coffee and a perky sister; I couldn't help but feel like I had _huge_ dark cloud over my damn head. My shoulders sunk down, as I remembered the text message and the fact that Edward was coming home.

God, how could he do this to me? I mean no I wasn't completely over him, but I was finally able to function without sobbing or anything like that. I'd actually been able to watch him on TV last night at the bar, albeit not for very long...but still; definite progress. Now with him coming home, it was like that wound being ripped open again. I knew it would be even worse if I saw him face-to-face. I'm probably like a freaking time bomb waiting to erupt. And if that bomb would explode if it came anywhere near Edward Cullen. But I am think I've become a strong, independent woman, so maybe I'm still overanalyzing everything and it will all be fine.

"Bella, look I know your worried. But I'm going to be here every step of the way. I won't let you do this on your own, and I know what you're going through. I mean, I went through it with James, remember? And I got through it." Rosalie said as she sat next next to me on the couch.

"I know Rose, and I can't thank you enough for being here for me. If means the world, really." I told her as I dropped my head to her shoulder.

"It's no problem at all Sissy, you know I would do anything for you, just like I know you would do anything for me."

"It's going to be okay, isn't it Rosie?" I asked quietly, looking down at my lap, "'cause I don't know if I'll be able to it all over again."

"Yeah, it will. I mean, you know how hard it is, 'cause you've already been through it once. Which sucks, but I promise that it _will_ be okay one day."

"I'm going to need to talk to him, aren't I?"

"Bella I think to feel any closure, yeah you're going to have to talk to him," she explained, "you never know what can happen in the future."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked exclaimed.

"Listen, you know I hate him for the way he hurt you, and the way he left; how's he's treated you for the past year. But, he still writes songs for you Bell! And obviously he still wants to see you. Don't you want to know why? I mean, you must have so many questions that need to be answered. So I know this may be like a slap in the face to hear, but maybe you should be the bigger person in this situation and call _him_." Rose said shrugging slightly.

I sighed deeply and thought about what she said. Of course, she was right, just as she usually was. I sunk back into my sofa and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. For some reason I kept thinking of a quote my mother, Renee always used to say to us, _"maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don't go well." _ My mother is an English professor at the University of Florida and too wise for words. That quote, along with Rosalie's guidance was what was going to get me through the next few weeks, I could feel it.

"Well, you're right. Rose, I'll text him and ask if we can get together when he gets here."

"I am _so_ proud of you Bella Bean," she answered hugging me, tightly, "I'll be here whenever you need me."

"So I guess I should text him now, huh? Get it over with."

"You should do it whenever you're ready, Bella. But I think sooner would be a lot better then later."

"Alright, let's do this then." I said getting up and walking to my bedroom. Grabbing my phone from my desk, I saw that Edward hadn't said anything else, besides that text message. My hand was trembling as I clicked on his name in my address book; I still hadn't deleted his number from my phone which doesn't say much for my progress. I decided simple and to the point would be best.

_"Hey. I'd like to meet up when you get home. So...text me back for details."_

I showed Rose the text before I sent it, and she nodded viguorasly, letting me know she approved.

"Short and to the point _and _you're taking charge of when and where. I've taught you well young padawon." She said nudging my shoulder.

"Yeah, you have." I laughed.

--

Rosalie left, with promises of calling me after she got done with her errands for the rest of the day. I decided that it was definitely time for me to get out of the house and take Brody for a much needed walk in the park.

"Brod, let's go for a walk baby. Come on you fattie." I exclaimed walking up to my dog, who was sprawled out across the floor. His head poked up at the mention of a walk, and he waddled over to me.

I put on his lead, and grabbed a little baggie, and walked out of the house. As the elevator chimed open, I stepped in and tugged Brody behind me. We walked into the lobby and I waved hello to the security guard at the front desk, Dennis.

"Good Afternoon, Miss Bella. You and Brody going for a walk, on this beautiful day?" He asked smiling widely.

"Yup, way too nice to pass up. Have a good day, D." I said as we walked out the door. It really was the most perfect spring afternoon in Seattle. We walked into Albert Davis park and I couldn't help but smile. This past day and a half had been kind of brutal, but maybe this meeting with Edward would finally bring some closure. Maybe that was the exact reason he wanted to meet with me; to gain closure. I didn't really want to think about _why_ he would want or need closure, but I guess I would find out when we met up. My thoughts were interrupted by my cell ringing from my back pocket.

"Hold on, Brody. Let me just answer the phone," I didn't look at the caller id assuming it was my Mom or Rose, "hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella?"

Holy.

Shit.

I would know that voice _anywhere_. God damn it, obviously texting was a bad idea.

"Bella are you there? It's me, uh, Edward." He asked skeptically.

"Uh, um...yeah I'm uh, here." Great, Bella way to sound super articulate.

"So I would really love to meet with you, and catch up. I miss you so fucking much, Bella."

Oh, no. He _missed_ me? I needed Rosalie for this shit. At that moment, Brody decided it would be a good idea to chase a butterfly across the field.

"Brody! Stop, please. Ugh, don't do that!" I yelled as he dragged me across the open space.

"Oh are you with, someone? Whose Brody? Shit sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Listen you can just uh, call me back or something. It sounds like you're super busy, with uh, Brody."

"Edward, um, Brody is ah...well, my new-." I started to say, but he cut me off before I could say anymore.

"Listen Bella, I understand the way we left things was horrible, and I know I haven't talked to you in over a year...and obviously you have a boyfriend," I could just see him tugging at the end of his hair, "but I hope we can meet soon, we have a lot to talk about. And well...I'm willing to fucking fight for you, I let you go once and I can't go through that again. So, I was wondering if Thursday at four o'clock at the Starbucks on Main and 5th would be okay to meet?" He was rambling, and I was still trying to process what he was saying, so I could only nod.

Which he couldn't see, so I just stuttered out a weak, "yes," before he bid me goodbye. I was still holding the phone to my ear when Brody waddled over to me drooling.

About three things I was absolutely positive:

First, Edward thought I was dating my overweight bulldog.

Second, I was still reduced to a complete moron while talking to him.

And third, he wanted me back...and was obviously ready to fight anyone-even my fake boyfriend-to do so.

Fuck my life.

--

**So there it is...chapter two :)**

**Next chapter will definitely be these two finally seeing each other again. My laptop was seriously dying...so I tried to finish relatively quickly.**

**Side note: quotes by Jim Rohn and S.M.**

**Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, quotes and songs aren't mine either. Only the plot belongs to me.**

**Edwards POV.**

"May be surrounded by, a million people I, still feel all alone,I just wanna go home."

- Michael Buble (Home)

I pulled my fingers through my hair as I looked out the window of my hotel room, thinking about how I got into this mess I called my life.

How the hell did I end up here? Standing in the penthouse suite at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills alone, even though the room I was in was full of people. I always had people surrounding me; I couldn't even go to the damn bathroom without someone right outside the door waiting for me.

I had just got done attending the after party for my concert at the House of Blues on Sunset. I was fucking tired as hell, just as I always was lately, but my manager Tanya had insisted on me bringing the party back to my suite. It was three in the morning the last time I had checked, and that usually meant sleep for normal people. Not in the life of Edward Cullen though; it was go, go, go for me at all times. Most of the time I felt like a machine, I couldn't say that all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed _alone_ and read a damn book. And maybe just maybe, get at least four full hours of sleep. No way in hell was that happening with all of these people here though.

I walked up to Tanya and told her that it was time for everyone to get going.

"Edward, we talked about this. It's only four in the morning!" She shrilled.

"T, I have to get to sleep…I feel like I'm walking on fucking air right now, and not in the good way!"

"Fine, but don't forget you have Ryan Seacrest at nine! You can't be late." Tanya reminded me.

"Okay, okay. Just get everyone out of here please. I'll be there, I promise."

I waved a subtle goodbye to everyone and closed the door to the bedroom. Fucking finally, complete silence. I thrived on this, every night when I could get into whatever bed I had wherever the hell I was. Silence was something that I had taken for complete granted when I had a normal life. Now I completely craved it, and I wished I could bottle it up for whenever I needed it.

Lying down on the bed, I felt my entire body relaxed. I loved being able to just sit down and just chill for the time being. It gave me time to think about everything that was going on in my life. But tonight, and like so many before it, my mind decided to go back to the time almost two years ago, when I had broken my girls heart.

I had never intentionally made someone cry before, and it wasn't anything that I wanted to put anyone through again. The pain that was etched on her face broke my heart, along with hers. When I had first gotten my record deal, I was a young -only twenty one, at the time- and I knew that if I were to go through with this, then I would have to follow everyone else's' rules. One of the first points Tanya made was that I could not be tied to anyone. I didn't know what to do. Did I break my girlfriend's heart; the same girl who had been in my life for as long as I could remember? Or did I stay with that same girl who I didn't think I could breath without? I was too chicken-shit to go with the latter, so I took the cowardly way out. I broke her heart and shattered everything that I believed in. I gave in to the typical 'rock star' persona that was thrust at me, and I drank my fucking problems away.

It was getting worse too, I felt like my world was falling apart. And I knew the only way that I could get it all back was to go where I messed up and fix everything.

I was going back to Washington, to get back the one thing that I needed in my life. I would give it all up if I could have her back. I didn't know why the hell she would ever give me a chance ever again…but I knew I needed to try.

Texting Bella had been one of the hardest things I had ever done. I was a coward, and I would be the first to admit it. But I was afraid if I had called her, she wouldn't have answered or she would have just hung up the phone on me. I knew that having Bella would ground me, and bring me back to the place I belonged.

I couldn't deny that Bella Swan was home to me; and I was a selfish motherfucker who wanted her all to myself…and I was willing to do whatever the hell I had to just to get her back.

The first thing I had to worry about was getting home. I didn't know how the hell I was going to break it to Tanya that I was leaving. She'd surely kick my ass if she heard me mutter the words 'break', but I knew it was exactly what I needed. Traveling, promoting and performing for almost a year and a half had really started to take a toll on me. And I was seriously turning into a depressing and emo person; it was starting to take an effect on everyone around me.

I couldn't help but be brought to my current state, finally being able to be in a bed was nice, and I started thinking of the happier times in my life. When I was a teenager, things were literally easier then I could have ever imagined. My biggest worry then was making sure I had gas in my car. Being with my best friends and going to shows in Seattle, then seeing them in the audience while _I_ was performing had been the highlight of my days.

I remember the first show I had played at _The Paramount_. Seeing Bella and Jasper in the front row, supporting me, clapping along to my music. That had been more important to me; that my best friends in the whole world had enjoyed my songs, it had brought me so much joy. Now-a-days, I was more worried about the fact that I didn't have enough fucking Vitamin Water in my dressing room before shows or some stupid pointless shit like that. I had turned into a pompous asshole, it was time for me to bring myself back to the ground, and start living in the real world.

At this moment I knew what I was going to do. I was just going to leave. Without telling Tanya, or any of my management team. Clean break from everything, that sounded completely perfect. The whole coward thing was getting pretty extensive at this point, but I was getting out the big guns now.

I had an ex-girlfriend to get back…and I knew what hard work it was going to be to do that.

"What do you mean you're on your way home?"

"I mean I'm at the airport and I need a ride. It was a total risk move coming back here…but I'm back for the time being. Can you please just come get me?"

"Edward, I love you with all my heart but are you fucking crazy?!" My sister was going to bust my eardrum, for real.

"Al, I need to do this. Besides I'm not about to buy another ticket back to LA. I miss everyone, and I haven't been home in so long. It's time, so could you _please_ come and pick me up at the United gate?"

"Okay, I'm walking out the door right now. I'll be there in fifteen alright. I still think you're insane but I really can't wait to see you E." Alice said to me, I could just see her smiling into the phone.

"I know I miss you too. Well, I'll be here…just chilling. Bye, Alice." I hung up the phone with a sigh. If I was being honest with myself, I really had no idea what I was doing. But this was one of the first huge decisions I had made on my own since I had gotten a record deal. I really didn't want to be seen as the type of person who gave up when things got tough, and this was my chance to prove that I wasn't that stereotype.

Bella probably wouldn't even see me. I figured since she hadn't texted me back, she was completely ignoring that I had even contacted her. Not that I blamed her in the slightest, she certainly deserved to think that.

My thoughts were put on hold, as I felt my phone vibrate. I knew it wasn't Tanya since it was still early, and my breath hitched as I read who it was from.

_"Hey. I'd like to meet up when you get home. So...text me back for details."_

Holy shit. She wanted to meet up with me; she actually wanted to see me.

I had no idea what to say, since I honestly didn't think she was going to text me back. This was the biggest reason I had come home; she was that reason. I wanted to be part of her life in any way, shape or form. Although I would have loved to go back to what we once were, I knew it just wasn't possible.

So having her text me back, was definitely a step in the right direction. I knew that I wanted to wait to call her though, until it was at least an appropriate time to wake up. I wanted to catch up on my sleep also, and to finally sleep in my own bed was something I wanted to relish in.

I heard a horn blaring from where I was perched on my suitcases, and looked up to see my sister waving manically from her Suburban. She looked incredibly tiny in her huge tank of a car, and my smile grew as I finally realized I'd get to see my sister.

"I see you haven't grown at all in six months, Al." I snickered as I got into the SUV.

"Shut up, you! Give me a hug Rock star."

I pulled her in my arms tightly over the middle console and kissed her forehead, something I had always done growing up.

"I missed you lil' sis."

"I missed you too, Edward." She looked over at me with tears brimming her eyes. "Sorry, I just can't believe you're finally home! Mom and Dad are going to flip. Why the sudden homesickness though? I thought you were super happy in California."

"Alice I want her back." I stated simply. And then I practically swallowed my damn tongue as she about swerved off of the highway. I grabbed onto my seat and held on for dear life as I caught my breath.

"Jesus Al, what are you doing?!"

"Are you serious." It wasn't a question.

"Yes?" I asked because I was basically scared for my life now.

"Okay, I am about to tell you all of this in complete confidence because you're my brother and I love you. But this conversation does _not_ leave this car. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Edward, I can't really explain what happened to Bella after you left. It's painful for me to even think about let alone justify. The life was completely sucked out of her; she was just living…with no excitement or passion about anything. Really it was like she wasn't even Bella Swan anymore, she was just this lifeless person who had no ambition for anything. After you left Edward, I don't think she even saw a reason to get up in the morning. Rosalie told me it took her weeks to get out of bed, _weeks_ Edward!" Alice ranted, "she couldn't get her own breakfast for herself. It was like she was in shock, like she didn't want to believe that happened."

I just looked at her with wide eyes. I figured that our breakup would have affected Bella, but I was such a selfish asshole that I didn't think it would affect her the way it affected me.

Obviously I was dead wrong.

"I don't know if seeing her after all this time is a good idea." She said quietly.

"Alice…I don't really know how to explain."

We both stopped talking to absorb the conversation that had just transpired.

"I think I just want to apologize in person," I sighed, "I owe her that, which I know it's one of the many things I _do_ owe her. I just want to see her face-to-face so I can give her an explanation. If Bella doesn't ever want to see me after that, then I'll respect her wishes and never speak to her again."

"Edward, I know how hard it is for you to remember what you did to Bella. And I know that you've never forgiven yourself for it. I also know that it wasn't your fault that you broke up with her. You were just a kid! I know I was just a kid too, but I always knew that I didn't just want the kind of love Mom and Dad had; I wanted the kind of heart-stopping love you and Bella had." Alice smiled reaching over to squeeze my hand.

"That's the exact reason I need to see her Al. I know that love is still alive, and I've known it since I was ten years old."

"I really hope everything works out, Edward. You both deserve it." She whispered.

After driving for over an hour in rush hour traffic, I was finally back at my childhood home. The large colonial had never looked so inviting. I saw the same handprints in the walkway that I had put in the cement with Alice when I was only eleven years old. As I walked into the house, the smell of coffee and blueberry muffins invaded my senses. My Mom had always made sure that our home had always smelled the same. She knew that those smells would always mean home to her kids and whatever grandkids came along. It was one of the things I had forgotten about, and I was going to learn to cherish it again.

"Mom? Dad?" I called as I walked into the foyer. I heard the sound of a dropped coffee cup and I cringed as I realized that one of my parents had broken glass because of their surprise.

"Edward, my baby! What are you doing home? Is something the matter, oh my gosh did you get fired or something? Honey, what are you doing all the way over there, come give me a hug!" My mother rambled as she opened up her arms to me.

"Hi Mom." I said as a hugged her tightly, she started rocking me back and forth, squeezing me as firmly as she could.

"Why haven't you called, Edward?" She asked me sternly.

"I-I'm sorry Mom, I've just been busy? I know that's not an excuse, I just I needed to come home, I needed to find my head again."

"Honey, you never have to give an excuse to come home. I'm just so glad you're here!"

"Me too Mom, me too. Do you mind if I go to sleep for awhile? We can talk later, cause I am seriously jet-lagged."

"Oh of course! You're room is still the same, so I'll let you get some sleep. I'll talk to you when you get up. I have to call your father! He's going to be so happy, he's at the hospital right now, but oh will he flip out…" She trailed as she walked back into the kitchen.

I couldn't help but shake my head at my mother. I could always come home and find the her the same person as when I left; Esme Cullen was nothing if not consistent. She would flip out even more when she found out that I was going to be seeing Bella again soon. I didn't know if they still talked or were as close as they were when I left…but she had always thought of Bella as a second daughter.

As I walked into my old room, I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. Everything was the same. From the band posters on my wall, to the ticket stubs and pictures I had all over the cork board in the corner. I dropped my bags near my closet and breathed a huge sigh of relief…even though I was fucking scared out of my mind to see Bella again, this is exactly where I wanted and needed to be.

Laying down on my bed I let sleep over take me, completely ready for whatever came when I woke up.

I felt super relaxed when I finally woke up five hours later; something that I hadn't felt fully in a long time.

I knew that I had a lot of people to answer to, back in LA. People were going to be pissed off and hurt by my sudden absence. I'd need to do a shit load of damage control to cover my ass…but this was something that needed to be done, in order for me to continue doing what I did everyday.

Looking at the clock I saw that it was 2:30 in the afternoon. I figured it was now or never…so I took out my phone and dialed Bella's number.

As the phone was ringing, I felt my palms start to sweat and my throat get really dry. I was freaking out…

"Hello?"

"Bella?" She sounded out of breath…shit I didn't know if I could do this, she hadn't answered yet so I didn't know if she'd heard me, "Bella are you there? It's me, uh, Edward." I asked skeptically.

"Uh, um...yeah I'm uh, here."

"So I would really love to meet with you, and catch up. I miss you so fucking much, Bella."

I heard a commotion as she gasped and started yelling at some dude named Brody. My heart plummeted in my chest, she had a boyfriend…of course she did. My shoulders sagged and I literally felt my body deflate.

"Oh are you with, someone? Whose Brody? Shit sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Listen you can just uh, call me back or something. It sounds like you're super busy, with uh, Brody." I was rambling, way to sound articulate there Cullen.

"Edward, um, Brody is ah...well, my new-."

"Listen Bella, I understand the way we left things was horrible, and I know I haven't talked to you in over a year...and obviously you have a boyfriend," I ranted while I tugged on my hair, "but I hope we can meet soon, we have a lot to talk about. And well...I'm willing to fucking fight for you, I let you go once and I can't go through that again. So, I was wondering if Thursday at four o'clock at the Starbucks on Main and 5th would be okay to meet."

"Yes." She answered meekly. She basically acted like she didn't want to talk anymore, and I figured that she was busy with _Brody_ so I put an end to the conversation and bid her goodbye, before I could say anything more stupid.

I flipped my phone closed as I collapsed on my pillows. I hoped I was doing the right thing. And I just prayed that after this meeting she wouldn't hate me more then she already did.

Thursday came quicker than I was prepared for.

As I sat at a corner table in Starbucks, I thanked God I wore my glasses. My eyes were super bloodshot and I knew I looked stoned. It was just from lack of sleep from the night before. I was completely wigging out about this meeting with Bella.

I looked up to see her coming through the door and I about knocked down my chair as I stood up. I was fucking shaking, and I felt like I was going to vomit.

I probably looked like a cracked out train wreck; hell I felt like a cracked out train wreck and we hadn't even made eye contact yet.

When her brown eyes met mine, I felt my heart skip about six beats. She was biting her damn lip, and I couldn't help the twitch that my dick made as I remembered what it felt like to have her lips wrapped-.

"Edward?" Hearing her name come from her lips caused me to jump back to the present.

"Hi, Bella." I answered shyly. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Sure. Listen I know that you are the one who approached me with this 'meeting', but I was wondering if I could do the talking…I kind of have a shit load to say to you."

I'm sure she couldn't even see my eyebrows because they shot up so high. I was speechless, so I just nodded numbly.

"Okay. First I want to say how happy I am for you, and how proud I am of you. You've accomplished everything you've dreamed of in such a short amount of time; at such a young age, and I'll always admire that about you. But what you did to me, how you just threw me to the curb as you did, isn't something I can forget. It took a really long time for me to get to the point I'm at right now. I can finally sleep in my aprtment alone at night, and I can finally go out with my friends and family without acting like an emo blob.

"The way you were in my life one day and then gone the next was almost too much to take. We were best friends for so long…way before we even thought of being together. So I guess the only thing I have to ask you is why? Why did you just throw it all and me away?" She asked me as she fiddled with the ends of her sleeves.

I knew that I had to be absolutely truthful and unabashed with Bella. I had to suck up my pride and tell her what a coward I was.

"Honestly Bella, I don't even know where the hell to start." I sighed. "I guess the first thing that I need to say to you is how fucking sorry I am. I'm so fucking sorry everything transpired the way that it did. And I'm sorry that I let you go at all. I kick myself everyday thinking about it. The only excuse I have is that I was young, naïve and stupid. I listened to my superiors when they told me that I couldn't be in the public eye and be in a mature relationship. I listened when they told me to forget you and everyone in my past; that I didn't need you anymore. And as much as it hurts to say that, it hurts even more to realize the pain I've put you through." I finished.

I looked at Bella then, and saw tears forming in her eyes.

"Bella, baby…please don't cry. God, I can't take it if you cry anymore over me."

"I just can't believe you're back here. Edward, as much as I want to jump in your lap right now, and forget about everything…I can't. I've been through so much and would be too hard to go back to that place. Please don't make me go back to that place, Edward." She pleaded with me.

"Oh, Bella. I love you. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but I do. So fucking much that I can't breath sometimes when I think about you. I know you have a boyfriend now, but I'll do whatever the hell I have to do if it means I can be in your life. Even if I'm just a damn acquaintance, I'll take it." I could feel my voice cracking, and I knew I was going to cry.

I would get down on my knees if it meant she would give me another chance.

"Bella I'm not going anywhere. I swear on everything I have; everything I am. I lost you once and I would be the biggest dumbass in the world if I didn't fight for you this time."

"This is a lot of information for me to take in. I mean you just coming home out of the blue, I just can't. Edward, I need to process all of this…it's too damn much." She sighed.

"You can take as much time as you need Bella. I swear I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here tomorrow, and the next day. I can't go back to LA now. I know that I'm home, because I'm here with you Bella. Home is wherever you are.

"And I know I sound like a pathetic asshole, but I'm not leaving Washington until I know if I can be in your life in some capacity."

"Edward, just let me process all of this okay? I'll call you when I'm ready."

"As long as you need." I promised.

She got up from the table slowly and walked out the door just quickly as she came in.

I knew how overwhelming this was for her. I just wanted to comfort her, but I knew that space was what she needed.

After that conversation, I knew I needed a beer. So I called up Jasper, ready for another long awaited reunion.

As I walked out of Starbucks, I couldn't get over the feeling that I had fucked things up even more.

I just hoped Bella would prove my doubts wrong.

**Okay here's chapter three. Long awaited…I sincerely apologize about that. RL has been kicking my ass lately. **

**I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has given this story a chance, and added it to their favs, and story alerts or reviewed. I appreciate it beyond belief. **

**You guys brighten my day with all of your kind words.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**I listened to Michael Buble and Erik Hassle nonstop while writing this…amazing inspiration!**


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